Crazy Town

Is it Prog? NO

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What the f**k.

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I mean... What? Just look at that video thumbnail. Not a lot could be less Prog.

I'm gonna tell you all a short moral story, so grab a cup of cocoa and get comfortable. I'm afraid it doesn't have a lot to do with Prog, but bear with me, I've been at the wine.

Now then, let me take you back to the days when I were but a wee lad. Most weekdays I'd come home from school in the afternoon, dump my bag on the floor and run to the wireless in my bedroom to listen to the Chris Moyles show. At the time some of the music was ok, most of it was naff, but I listened for the banter, and aside from this I was fascinated by the overall production of the show. In those days I wanted to be a disk jockey, or a producer, or a script writer, or a playlist clerk. I was also a huge fan of Mark&Lard, remember them? The risqué duo of windup scamsters from the North, with one foot heavily placed in the glory days of comedy and the other boldly treading the icy waters of 'What's the filthiest material we can get away with broadcasting at 2pm on national radio?' As it was though, during the hours their show aired I was usually sitting through double maths or running away from a rugby ball.

Of course, all of this changed when a friend introduced me to Iron Maiden's 'Rock in Rio'. I was a late bloomer. Don't judge me.

Somewhere amongst the Radio1 playlist though was 'Butterfly', which I remember being a half decent choon back in the day. You know, one of those tracks you'll only confide your enjoyment of to a select few trusted friends. So after being taken aback by seeing Crazy Town appear on the Download lineup for this weekend, I figured I'd give some of their other material a listen.

Right, you know those moments when you unwittingly decide to try something completely and utterly senseless and stupid, and it takes about three seconds before you fall into the deepest regret and embarrassment? This was one of those times. I ended up watching the mutant spawn of S'Club7 and Lil Wayne. In fact, I feel the need to make a public apology. I am deeply ashamed by my actions, and vow to never repeat them. Each to their own and all that, but I implore you to do the same.

Again... What the f**k?

Did I say this was a moral story? I did, didn't I. B****cks. Well, I guess the moral is... Erm... If it's Prog you're after, probably look somewhere other than Download Festival?

But you knew that already. I'll get me coat.

As a footnote, I am looking forward to seeing Anathema and Opeth this Friday; maybe I'll report back on proceedings. For the rest of the weekend, I shall be taking it as it comes, skipping merrily between hardcore, rap-metal, heavy metal, blues, pop-punk and classic rock with a huge grin on my face and a beer in hand.

See you there?